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Step-parent love?

Okay, I realize that this community has not been in use for several months but I was happy to find a place where I can hopefully vent so here I go.
A little background. I am married with my natural son, step-son and husband living with me......
I have been a step-mother for a little over 2 years. In the beginning there was little time spent with the step child, but I liked him enough. Then the marriage happened and I got to be with the child full time and boy did my opinion change. Maybe I am blessed in the fact that my natural son was always a pretty good kid, even my best friend told me I didn't deserve him because he was such a good child. Obedient, kind, thoughtful, loving........
My step-son is the almost exact opposite of this. He is not thoughtful, he is very selfish, and I would expect this of a young child to a point but it's a constant and no matter how much you correct it, nothing has changed. He is also a drama queen. Everything is exaggerated. Again, I would expect some of this from a child but his is on the brink of OCD! All the clothes have to come off to pee, go poopy. He will cry his eyes out if you tell him he has to put his pants on before his socks, because you must go to the dryer to get the socks. If the underwear is sticking out just a bit over his pants he will cry. The child will not go outside to get "excercise" because then his legs will hurt. If he's laying on the floor playing with trains, he must go sit because his legs hurt. Everything is about his legs. So we got that checked out. There is nothing wrong with his legs. X-rays prove it. It's just something more to whine about. In the beginning he would tell his mother on the phone that I was mean because I would give him a time out for doing something bad. And this was constant to a mother who is already a heavily medicated paranoid woman. He has not left the world of "me" ( like the toddlers do ) that so many children finally leave at the age of 6 or 7.
When I've had visitors over they see why I am frustrated with the child. You have to tell him the same things over and over for him to get it. By the way I am still having to tell him some things over and over 2 years later even though we are on a schedule.
His high pitch voice adds to the annoyance and lets not get started on the nightly peeing. You can't keep up with the dirty sheets and blankets that must be washed because of his nightly ritual.
I tell you the truth, whether you think I am crazy or not. I HATE this child. I DO NOT love this child. I never will. I wish he would go live with his crazy, mental mother and never come back.
There is a reason I only ever had one child. I never wanted two. He just came with the package, and like I said, I did try in the beginning. But one day he just kept on and on with his complaining and just wouldn't stop and it's been ongoing ever since.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 30th, 2007 12:53 pm (UTC)
I understand where you are coming from. I have a stepdaughter who is 7, and there are days where, if I could do it over again, I would not have let her dad back into my life, because of her. Is your SS in counseling at all? It DOES sound like he has OCD or some sort of disorder. Did he live with his mother for a while? My SD lived with her drug addicted mother and her violent boyfriend, then she got bounced around to various friends and grandparents before she ended up with me and her dad. This child is a nightmare. My family and friends don't even want to be around us because of her. They still come around, but this child ruins every occasion. She thinks everything is all about her. Her dad and I had a baby in January, and my mom, being a grandmother, keeps buying stuff for the baby, and SD has a fit because "no one buys me anything!" We cannot get in the car to go anywhere without this child demanding snacks and drinks, kicking the seat, undoing her seatbelt and screaming until she gets what she wants. I ignore her, but her dad can't stand it and gives in. As a result, she has gained over 20 pounds in a year. She went from weighin 49 pounds to over 70. She is FAT. And although in the beginning I tried to gently tell Jim that a child does not need two king size ice cream bars and a 32 ounce gatorade for a half hour car ride, he does not listen. This kid eats all day and all night. She is in therapy, but there are days when i feel like I hate her, and like I would be better off splitting with her dad (who I love very very much) just to get this child out of my house. She has turned it upside down. My teenagers hate her. And I don't want her evil influence ruining my baby.
So I know there are people who will be outraged by your thoughts/feelings, but I know where you are coming from.
May. 1st, 2007 01:54 am (UTC)
I'm so glad to that there is someone out there who understands.
He hasn't lived with his mother by himself. His parents split when he was three. I think maybe it stems from never seeing his mother since we are in TN and she is in CA. He's seen her twice in the last 4 years. I generally love little kids and would probably have a decent relationship with this child if he wasn't like this.
I'm sorry for your situation. I know what its like to think about splitting with your SO. I really love my husband and I know that he and the child are a package deal so unfortunately I must deal with it.
Dec. 25th, 2009 04:38 pm (UTC)
I can empathize with you. My fiance has a daughter who is 4 years old. And she always wants 'Daddy'. He will be busy and doing something and I say: "I can do that for you." And she will leave the room and ask her dad to do something for her, and he will say: "She can do that for you."

And my fiance never have time to spend together because she 'ALWAYS WANTS DADDY'. And I don't say anything because I feel guilty wanting some attention. There is a long story but I am going to post on this site.

But I understand how annoyed you feel. And I have the benefit of the doubt, his daughter doesn't live with us, she lives with her mom.
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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