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Step-parent love?

Okay, I realize that this community has not been in use for several months but I was happy to find a place where I can hopefully vent so here I go.
A little background. I am married with my natural son, step-son and husband living with me......
I have been a step-mother for a little over 2 years. In the beginning there was little time spent with the step child, but I liked him enough. Then the marriage happened and I got to be with the child full time and boy did my opinion change. Maybe I am blessed in the fact that my natural son was always a pretty good kid, even my best friend told me I didn't deserve him because he was such a good child. Obedient, kind, thoughtful, loving........
My step-son is the almost exact opposite of this. He is not thoughtful, he is very selfish, and I would expect this of a young child to a point but it's a constant and no matter how much you correct it, nothing has changed. He is also a drama queen. Everything is exaggerated. Again, I would expect some of this from a child but his is on the brink of OCD! All the clothes have to come off to pee, go poopy. He will cry his eyes out if you tell him he has to put his pants on before his socks, because you must go to the dryer to get the socks. If the underwear is sticking out just a bit over his pants he will cry. The child will not go outside to get "excercise" because then his legs will hurt. If he's laying on the floor playing with trains, he must go sit because his legs hurt. Everything is about his legs. So we got that checked out. There is nothing wrong with his legs. X-rays prove it. It's just something more to whine about. In the beginning he would tell his mother on the phone that I was mean because I would give him a time out for doing something bad. And this was constant to a mother who is already a heavily medicated paranoid woman. He has not left the world of "me" ( like the toddlers do ) that so many children finally leave at the age of 6 or 7.
When I've had visitors over they see why I am frustrated with the child. You have to tell him the same things over and over for him to get it. By the way I am still having to tell him some things over and over 2 years later even though we are on a schedule.
His high pitch voice adds to the annoyance and lets not get started on the nightly peeing. You can't keep up with the dirty sheets and blankets that must be washed because of his nightly ritual.
I tell you the truth, whether you think I am crazy or not. I HATE this child. I DO NOT love this child. I never will. I wish he would go live with his crazy, mental mother and never come back.
There is a reason I only ever had one child. I never wanted two. He just came with the package, and like I said, I did try in the beginning. But one day he just kept on and on with his complaining and just wouldn't stop and it's been ongoing ever since.

Difficult Ex

My FH has a 12 year old son.  Good kid, no problems there.  The problem is this child's mother.  She has really "gone off the deep end" since their seperation.  She's always going out and what not, which in and of itself isn't a big deal, but she is neglecting her son and lying to him in the process.  My FH and her have a week on-week off set up for custody.  She has had her son ONCE over the weekend in the last 6 (or 7) weeks.  WHY? Because she has dates and partying to do...and she tells her son this!  She drags him (when he IS with her) to her friends house so that she can chat and IM with men, and leaves her son to watch the friends' children.  Her son has ASKED his mom to slow down, he's worried about her, and he wants some of her attention back on him...

Fair enough, right?

Not to her.  She told her 12 year old he was SELFISH.  That he was trying to rule her life and not allow her to have any fun.  Then she told my FH (with her son standing right there) that if he (son) didn't "knock it off he isn't welcome in my house anymore."

So, you can imagine the stress level of my FH, his son...and well, me too.  She is running our lives by never keeping him on her weekends because we're not going to say "no" for him coming over.  Then she bad-mouths us to her son.  Her son is becoming more moody as this goes on and that, of course, affects all of us.  Not to mention the stress my FH is under trying to keep everyone happy and play peacemaker.

Has anyone dealt with something like this?  FH is thinking we should just try to get full custody and let her go do her thing...of course, I have NO DOUBT that in a few months she will pull her head out and realize what she's done and want him back.

I'm just so frustrated and I find myself frustrated with the son when I know that NONE of this is his fault.  I've found myself not wanting to even be in the house with all of us anymore because I'm so tense about it.  And, I know FH and his son are the one's that REALLY need the support and love right now.  I just don't know what to do!


For those who are nonbiological parents (i.e. step

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